Autumn’s Voice of Change

Ahh… Autumn.

Ahh… Autumn. Last weekend marked the Autumnal Equinox, that momentary glimpse of equanimity that stands at the threshold of change.  We bear witness as the abundant light of summertime starts to give way to an influx of darkness.  As summer sweetly gives way to fall, nature shifts and we prepare for the sacred journey inward, to gather wisdom, integrate what have cultivated, what we have learned. For some Fall is a time of celebration but there can be also sense that things are changing, that we are losing something or it can remind of us of things we have lost, changes that perhaps came too suddenly.  Change can come ruthlessly through illness or by losing someone we love or the more common manifestations of change in the form of relationships, jobs or habits that for whatever reason have been or need to be left behind.
My colleague and dear friend, Sarah G., who is gracefully and beautifully responding to a big change in her life was given the following advice to help her in transition, she was told:  “Everything always happens at the most perfect time in the most perfect way for everyone involved.”
Beautiful, wise and true but it was Sarah’s response has stayed with me and continues to be a great source of inspiration.  She said, “Some days I want to beat that with a frying pan!”  How this makes me love her more!  Sarah has devoted herself to the practice of Yoga and meditation for more than 20 years.  She gets it. She is not afraid of a hard day’s work on or off her mat.  She knows we practice to know ourselves more fully even if it isn’t always rainbows and unicorns.
Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras discusses the Kleshas (CLAY-SHAS), sanskrit for the ways in which we are stuck, the ways in which our minds become clouded.  Abhinivesha (AH-BIN-EE-VAY-SHA) is Sankrit for Fear of Death or Clinging to Life, it is the fear of change, fear of losing our identity, of who we think we are and all the many ways in which we have created our lives around this ‘I’.  Abhinivesha is so deep seated it is said (Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra II.9) that even the wisest of men fall over this obstacle on the path of awakening.
Acknowledging failure is also part of the season of harvest.  We can learn from our mistakes and let all the ways in which we fell short become the compost that will help us grow our next dream into something more beautiful that before.
The elegance of the sanskrit language is in it’s diversity of meaning.  Looking closer, “Abhi” means to move toward, “ni” means near, “vesha” means life: Abhinivesha is our “will to live” so it can be translated as Self Love. When we are feeling stuck or resistant to the voice of change we have to try to remember that no matter how stern that voice can be at times, it is a call to return to a place of love, to live from a place of love.  May we begin the process of deeply investigating all the ways in which we cling, the ways in which we are stuck in a rut – staying too long in relationships, jobs, or generally refusing to acknowledge some truth.  By refusing to change, we take all that is stuck with us into the next cycle.  We have to let go in order to truly move forward.  Let your practice be a vehicle to take you back to love.  Let the light of love be the impetus that let’s us LET GO.  As we take our seat in meditation, as we chant and pray, as we sweat and move in practice may we come to the realization that in order to be anything else, in order to transform, we must release that which we are clinging to.  With this comes the acceptance and the knowing that everything is as it should be.   And on the days we can’t wrap our minds and our hearts around this truth, it is also okay “to beat that with a frying pan.”
No matter what, we can’t give up, stand tall, keep trying to lift up our eyes, lift up our heart and soften into the grace that is everywhere.  And through it all, reach out, we are not alone, together we come together, in the company of a good heart we take solace in Autumn.  Peace.