The Call to Grow

As I’ve been spending time on coaching calls with some amazing millennial clients this week, I’ve been thinking about their paths and what brought them to reach out to make the first appointment with me.  How did they get there and what prompted them to dig down for the courage to ask for help?  The natural process of awakening to a bigger version of ourselves is somewhat methodical and predictable.  We never see it that way when we’re in it.  From my vantage point as a coach, it’s easier to recognise the patterns that rise up to get our attention.   The invitations that life sends us to break out of unhappy routines and to step up to a happier, more joyful life of meaning are consistent.  If we can open just a little to the concepts that we aren’t a victim to anything and that all life experiences are for us, then we can try to be a little more objective about the things happening in our lives.  

This is easy for me to say because I am the onlooker, the witness, the mentor, the see’er, the alchemist, the one who’s held many hearts while they wiggle and squeeze out of the tiniest holes just like a baby chicken that can no longer stay in its shell because it’s gotten too big.  The evolution of the egg, to baby chickie, to adult chicken is unquestionable. 

We know this is a fact of life and we expect it to happen. 

We even anticipate that it will and enjoy every growth step as we wait for the egg to crack and the happy little chick to emerge.  We humans are the same and just like a baby chicken, we experience pain and discomfort when our “shells” get too small for our souls.  We have to break out and move forward.  We writhe and wiggle and get uncomfortable.  We get confused and anxious.  Something in our lives has come along to be our catalyst for growth but all we can recognize is the negative impact on us.  

If we don’t make time to pay attention, the body gets more involved and helps us feel more uncomfortable and sometimes even ill so that we have no choice but to pay attention.  We get anxious, depressed, our body starts to reject the foods we’ve eaten our whole lives.  We have headaches, other aches and pains and have trouble sleeping.  And so much more.

I’m wondering why this has to be such a surprise to us and such a painful process.

What if we knew that just like the chick inside an egg that our time for growth would arrive and what if we were taught in adolescence that a big event in our lives would be an indicator of our purpose breaking through?  What if it was methodical and planned just not scheduled because “when” is the unknown?  

As a parent, I wish to help my daughter avoid pain and discomfort whenever possible.  I think most Gen X parents feel the same.  But what if my biggest job as a parent (after loving and being present of course) is to train her for what’s coming down the line?  To help remove the stigma around the pain of awakening and the call to grow? “Hey honey, somewhere down the line, a big event is going to happen to make you question what you’ve learned so far in life.  Once that event occurs, you’ll be able to open this magic book of instructions.  Just say the secret password.” 

How would things be different for my lovely clients if their parents had the wisdom to speak to them in such terms? 

Maybe they would be ahead of the game a little or maybe they wouldn’t have listened.  We don’t know.  What I do know is that these kids (kids to me but really younger adults) might have a chance to do that for their kiddos.  I know this because we are moving into a time of higher levels of consciousness than ever before and in my heart I know things will be different.  How do I know?  I know because I see so many people doing the work to clear their baggage and let their hearts shine.  This allows them to step into higher levels of their purpose and live a more impactful life just because of who they become.  When we change ourselves, we change the world….one answer to The Call to Grow at a time.

Once again, I’m wondering….

What content would we include in a magical book of instructions?  Here’s a few things I’d be sure to include.

• A book that helps them understand who they are.  I would include pragmatic things like personality assessments, a family tree of details about their ancestors including profession, vices, ailments and talents and a list of the things they’ve always loved and disliked.  I’d also include those esoteric things like astrology readings, numerology reports and maybe a psychic reading just for fun.
• A step-by-step guide to how to take care of themself now that their great growth moment has arrived including a big toolbox of practices and rituals for them to use from.  
• A list of possible hints that the time for their Call to Grow has arrived.  The list would include bodily ailments and an explanation of the most likely emotional tie in that needs their attention.
• A guide to help them form or add to their tribe so that they are supported and loved by a sangha of people who understand what’s happening and can be their safety net as they morph and change.
• Some sacred jewelry, stones, mallas, beads, sage, palo santo and a big empty journal.
• A bottle of magic elixir for them to sip on the days that were more challenging.  (Maybe this would have to be a paloma or a kombucha but hey, the power of suggestion can be very impactful even from a placebo….and the bottle could look like it came from a great wizard).  
• A personal note from me reassuring them this is your right of passage and just like so many before you, you’ll be okay.  I’d include all my love and best wishes.

That’s my first pass of ideas.  What would you include that maybe I’ve forgotten?

It’s really fun to imagine that society might actually work this way again.  Many cultures had some version of this coming of age process long ago.  We’ve disconnected from rituals and sacred ceremonial actions where one generation fosters the growth of another.  I wonder how quickly our culture will build this back into our regime.  Quickly I hope.

Now that I’ve pondered what gifts we could give to our children and I look back over this list.  I’m prompted to ask…

How many of you are ready to give this gift to yourself? 

The time is now. 

A bigger version of your life is waiting for you to step up and unfold it. 

Let’s go!