Needs… Can’t Live Without Them

Reiss Motivation Profile:  Do you know what your needs are?

I’ll bet you haven’t really consciously thought about this question recently. Other than our daily cave man like morning mantra “need coffee now” or monthly whine “really ought to hit the gym” most of us don’t consciously pay attention to our needs.
What happens when a particular need or value goes unmet?
Ahhhh…hhhaaaa Unmet needs make themselves known. It may be as subtle as a lacklustre feeling seeping into everything, or something feeling “off”. It may be that you simply aren’t getting results. If you don’t notice your discomfort, your cranky mood, then perhaps someone close will be kind enough to point it out to you. They may ask “What’s wrong?” “You don’t seem to be yourself?” If a need or value gets ignored or pushed aside consistently people can act out in ways that get misinterpreted with all kinds of pejorative labels. “They are just being lazy. They are boring. They are sloppy.”
How can you really know what your needs are?
Here’s a scenario that you might know well. You think that you need a bigger, better car, house, job, city etc. and then you will be happy. You might recognize this syndrome in others when you listen to them complain. Some people move to another city, quit a job, end a relationship, have a child, buy a house without really understanding that the reason for their dissatisfaction is not necessarily the neighbourhood or everything about the other person.

So how can I tell what really motivates me? Some of us might actually be able to become the kind of excellent observers of our behaviour that allows us to suss out our true needs. These most likely aren’t the kind that are satisfied by a new house unless you happen to be motivated by Status. For the rest of us looking at the Reiss Motivation Profile can be enlightening. This assessment is a comprehensive, standardized, objectively validated instrument that assesses 16 basic psychological needs. It helps us to be clear on what drives our behaviour and how to get those needs met. It also helps us to get along with others when we understand what drives them to do what they do.
Who is responsible for my needs?
The simple (yet not so simple) answer is… you are. Of course I personally have a high need for Independence so this belief is in alignment for me. However, if you wait for others to notice your needs you may wait forever. Taking personal responsibility means that you have options available to you such as telling people what motivates you, asking for help or designing your work and play to get these needs met.
Some examples:
If you have a high need for physical activity, a promotion may find you spending too much time behind a desk.  Armed with self knowledge you can find alternatives such as walking over to the next office to deliver a message or building a gym class into lunch. If you have a team member who has a high need for Beauty (aka Romance) putting them in a windowless office may be discouraging and impact their productivity. Rethinking office space will pay dividends. If you have a spouse with a high need for Social Contact, negotiating both the number of dinner engagements and time alone can end endless arguments and name calling. Recognizing that a low need for Order does not make you a slob but allows for creativity is a plus. And when another need, such as getting the recognition involved in publishing a book, comes into play you may indeed find the motivation to be a bit more orderly in your approach.
This kind of thinking can be applied to every need once you are clear on what they are.
So what?
Pay attention to your moods, your feeling of well being. Our emotions and our bodies are great sources of information for us if we pay attention.
Take action into your own hands and make a plan to get your needs met. This is not a one time affair. Meeting your needs once does not make them go away. They drive your behaviour whether you are paying attention or not and you will experience greater satisfaction when you set yourself up to have your needs met as a natural part of your environment and daily activities. The final piece of the puzzle is letting others know what your needs are so that they can understand and support you.