Who Am I?

A while ago I was in a meeting with one of my mentors and we were talking about a number of different things that were happening in my life.   As I was sharing, I apparently included a few phrases that included:
“…..who I am.”
“….my true self.”
“….reflecting who I am.”
Then out of the blue she asked me, “Who are you?”
A bit caught off guard, I replied, “What?”
Again she said, “Who are you?”
I laughed.
Not my normal thundering “I-don’t-care-how-obnoxious-I-sound” laugh.  No, this laugh was my “I’m-kind-of-feeling-uncomfortable” laugh.  The “let’s-move-onto-another-subject” laugh.
It’s my space filler laugh.
People who know me well and are willing to challenge me, call me out on this laugh.  My mentor knows me well, so she called me out on it.
“I’m serious. Tell me Kathryn, who are you?”
Feeling a little off track from the flow of our original conversation (and mildly annoyed with my discomfort) I quickly answered, “Well, I am my son’s mom. I’m an entrepreneur. I…”
Interrupting again she challenged me.  “Get out of your head.  This is important. Close your eyes and sit with it.  Allows the words to come to you.  Don’t force it.”
Sigh!
Then she asked me again in a soft voice, “Who are you?”
I took a deep breath.  By now my smile had subsided.  I knew this question wasn’t going away.  It couldn’t go away.  I agreed with her, it was important.  It was a question that needed to be answered, not for her benefit, but for mine.
The question lingered….
Who are you?
She waited patiently for my response.  Just like a seasoned business negotiator, she asked the question and didn’t say another word.
I closed my eyes. I took another deep breath, exhaled, and sat in the stillness.  I shut down the chatter in my mind and allowed space to open up.
Then…
I was still.
I was quiet.
I was clear.
Within a few moments the visual appeared on my mind’s blank canvas.
I saw my tree.
The tree that started out as the logo for Natural Kidz, and then evolved to be the tree that brands and binds all of my businesses, the businesses that I love and invest my work energy into.
I saw my tree.
The multi colored tree that has ultimately come to represent…me.
I am the tree.
Grounded.
Sturdy.
Flexible.
Growing.
Nurturing.
Colorful.
Colorful!
Moisture gathered behind my eyelids and a small smile formed.  Breaking the silence at the appropriate moment, she asked me, “What is your smile saying?”
I smiled wider, opened my eyes, and with a confident voice I spoke the words that had come to me when I saw the tree appear in my mind’s eye.
I said, “I am wildly colorful!”
She smiled and nodded with confirmation of my breakthrough.  Oh yes!  Now, I was indeed out of my head and into my heart. I took a deep breath and continued with the self-defining statements that were flowing out of me.
I am wildly colorful.
I am compassionate.
I am courageous.
I am a great mom.
I felt good. I felt centered. I felt clear.
I drove home in silence feeling peacefully rooted in the acknowledgement of experiencing my true nature as colorful me.
My true nature is not first defined by my roles.  When I am asked to describe myself, I often respond with my roles, as I did when the question was first asked.  And while I am proud and honored to be my son’s mommy, my own boss, and the many other roles I occupy.  I realize that it is in being wildly colorful that I am able to shine as the magnificent spiritual being that I am.
Later when I was driving home, I recall laughing out loud as I wondered what if at the next dinner party or moment of introduction, when asked a question that requires an answer of “I am,” I may just have to say:
“Hello. I am Kathryn.  I am wildly colorful!”
How is that for an ice breaker?
So… I raise the question to you. When you sit with yourself in quiet space and you get out of your head and into your heart, how do you answer the question…
Who are you?